Eulogy

EULOGY GIVEN BY BROTHER BALDWIN PETER BONVENTRE, FSC AT CHURCH OF QUEEN OF ALL SAINTS
MASS OF CHRISTIAN BURIAL FOR BROTHER ALOYSIUS RAPHAEL CECCHINI, FSC
JANUARY 21, 2001

It is hard to believe that he is not here among us. He must be--a man who gratefully relished any celebration of Raphael: his 50th anniversary, his 65th anniversary, each of his birthdays, triumphantly blowing out each candle. There was no false modesty about enjoying such events in his honor. Today, this liturgy and ceremony are a celebration of his life and his return to God. Of course Br. Raphael is here!

Despite the mixed emotions that are in this church, we must be happy for him, for Br. Raphael has embarked on the final journey in his love affair with God. He is blessed. But blessed too were those who knew him during the 87 years of his life--his family, his brothers, his colleagues and his friends. He was a gift to us all.

I cannot speak of those very youthful years in Penn Yan in western New York state. His photo albums show us pictures of a handsome and sturdy young man with his parents and his two brothers and sister.

Raphael Cecchini entered the Brothers of the Christian Schools when he was 16 and studied at Pocantico Hills in Westchester, before going to Barrytown, N.Y. His was the first class to make the novitiate in Barrytown. Becoming a DeLaSalle brother was a defining decision in his life, for, instead of raising a family, he joined one--and loved everything about it: the life of prayer, the ministry to young people, the dedication to learning.

He began his career as a teacher at Lincoln Hall, in one of the many small cottages to which court-adjudicated boys were assigned. After 11 years, he moved to Manhattan College Prep where he taught for another 11 years before he came to Bishop Loughlin High School in 1956.

Here he taught algebra as he prepared himself for his doctoral degree from Fordham University. He soon took over a barely visible guidance department and began the process of developing it into a forceful part of the school program, doing this with his loyal assistant, Anne Bischoff. I recall helping him with the SAT (the Scholastic Aptitude Test), boxing the booklets and riding with him to the UPS office a few blocks away. I had difficulty keeping up with his speed and efficiency.

Those who knew Br. Raphael only in his later years are unaware how active he was in Catholic guidance circles, or that he was a pioneer in some of his efforts. One example: He met Dr. Irene Impellizzeri when they were both doctoral candidates. In the 60s they went together to the Brownsville projects to convince parents that their children could and should go to college, by insisting that schools program their children for the right courses--algebra, for example.

Among his many concerns was the National Honor Society, for which he found service projects in this neighborhood for the members. He also encouraged young men that he thought might be inspired to enter the priesthood or the Christian Brothers, and in his office he had many copies of "Master of Mischief Makers," a fictionalized life of St. John Baptist De La Salle, to give out to them. These were also the years when, in his devotion to the brothers and their founder, he stored boxes of Lasallian items--statues and medals of St. La Salle and Lasallian Christmas cards with designs by an artist Raphael had commissioned--items that many schools ordered from him.

In the community, he was our pro-director, someone who functioned between the director and the sub-director in a house of 41 brothers. One of his jobs was to give out a small amount of money, for carfare and recreation, on Saturday morning. If you didn't get there fast, you'd be out of luck! He wasted no time; he had too many irons in his fireplace.

In the spring, his job description entailed a trip to some infamous haberdashery to select clothing for the brothers. When it was distributed, you could spot Brother N adorned in a McGregor sport shirt (no GAP in those days). But there were nine other brothers in the identical model. GQ (had it existed then) would not have been at our doorstep to photograph us for sophisticated fashion!

In the house and in the school, there was an incredible energy about him.

Nineteen seventy-five marked another defining event in his life. The stroke was like a dividing line. When I visited him in the hospital, I felt embarrassed, ashamed, remembering his vitality and energy. Now the deafness that had plagued him for most of his life was not his sole handicap. Partially paralyzed, he was unable to walk, unable to talk. It was an amazing transformation. He certainly knew what he wanted to say, but about all he could manage was "Damn it!" uttered in frustration.

For years, we all played 20 questions or charades with him to divine his messages. Like that salt and pepper hair that continued to flourish on his head, and the enormous appetite he never lost, his mind and memory remained sharp and clear until almost the very end. And over the years "Damn it!" became a signature his friends got used to hearing him exclaim in anger or in humorous resignation. But another expression he found easy to say, and said often, was "Thank you."

But it wasn't like Raphael to give up and settle for what seemed to be an affliction. He fought, with whatever help he could get. One of those helpers was Br. Jerome Donnelly, here at Loughlin at the time, who served him as his speech and writing teacher. He made some progress, but mainly he adjusted and refused to give up. Stubbornness! That character trait in the man became a virtue, and he honed stubbornness to perfection. OK, I will walk--and he did, but not in the same way. I will talk--and he did, but not in the same way. I will still be part of the life of the school and the community--and he was, but not in the same way. He held on to the optimism that was Raphael. He held on to the joy that marked everything he did and that touched everyone he met.

For years he walked along the streets of this neighborhood, well known to many, and shopping for food with Br. Michael O'Neill. He used the subway; he traveled by bus to Maryland to see his brother Louis and Sjelja, his sister by marriage. He even flew to Europe for the canonization of one of our Christian Brothers.

Like a tenacious bulldog, he chose never to let go. Supper dishes tottered precariously in his hands (together with the cane) as he carried them from the table. At graduation, he marched unsteadily down the aisle in his doctoral robes, leading the procession of graduates and stood on the stage when he proudly delivered the Br. Raphael Cecchini awards named in his honor to the lucky boy and girl (three of whom are here now).

Finally, out of concern for his safety, we entrusted him to an attendant during the day, the vigilant young man who became his friend and his guardian angel, Stanley Marcel (who came from Florida to say goodbye to him tonight). Raphael must be happy. Stanley would take him on short walks and bring him to the school to give out the mail. For a while, Br. Raphael was still able to read and spend time on his stamp collection.

About two years ago, Raphael agreed to go to the brothers' nursing home in Lincroft, New Jersey. It must have been a wrenching departure for him after almost 45 years at Bishop Loughlin. But he quickly adjusted, for at that retirement home he joined a number of brothers that he knew. In his earlier days, Raphael had entertained youngsters with magic tricks (which admittedly didn't always succeed). Now he successfully worked his magic on the brothers and staff at DeLaSalle Hall. When the brothers visited him, they were often told that Raphael's presence made a significant difference in the life of that community. His joyous spirit infused the place.

After he left the Loughlin community, it was no easy task going into his room to sort through all he had collected over the years--the silent evidence of the tasks of life and his concern for others. All those remaining sports medals that he had provided in earlier days for athletic events, with boxes of safety pins to hold the numbered cards to the shirts of contestants, we distributed . The safety pins went to the nurse at Bishop Loughlin to satisfy the demands made on her for such things. There were loose stamps in the desk, not yet classified for his stamp albums. And there were enough old pencils to stock the shelves at Staples--the unfortunate erasers dried out. But there were also the guidance journals for which he had written short articles in younger days.

A little over a week ago, when Rita Maloney, Sr. Margaret Phillips and Dr. Irene Impellizzeri visited him, his face brightened with his customary smile, and he clasped--gripped each hand as he uttered a happy "Oh!"

Some of us thought he would outlast us all. He didn't. He lies here tonight. And all this scaffolding would not have bothered him. He saw the bright side of most things. This is my staircase to paradise, he would have said. [Queen of All Saints Church was being cleaned and enormous scaffolding filled the sanctuary.]

"Grow old along with me!" Robert Browning exhorts us. "The best is yet to be,/ The last of life, for which the first was made." Those of us who are seniors with our aches and pains might dispute that confident assertion, but in Raphael's case there is a sense in which the words of the poet ring true. The best was yet to be in the last years of his life, because those 25 years after the stroke called out the best in him. His character and his faithfulness were tested and they grew and glowed.

Browning's verse continues: "Our times are in His hand...trust God...nor be afraid." Raphael trusted; he was not afraid.

In Psalm 98, the psalmist says: "Sing for joy to the Lord,...praise him with shouts of joy." That was Raphael: he gave a joyous shout while he lived: a joyous shout to the Lord, a joyous shout to all of us.

During the offertory procession, the wine and water were carried by Br. Raphael' s brother Louis and Sjelja, his sister-in-law; the bread by Peter and Ellen Parisi, his sister's son and his wife; his doctoral cap by Dr. Impellizzeri; a stamp album by Sr. Margaret; a medal of St. La Salle by Stanley Marcel; and a copy of "Master of Mischief Makers" by Br. Charles Felix.

04/04/2007